Why I Chose to Stay.


Six months ago I made one of the scariest yet most exciting decisions of my life.. within a few short weeks I decided to quit my job, pack my bags and say my goodbyes. I set off on a new adventure and moved across the world to Dubai. I cannot deny that I was terrified; I didn't know what to expect. Everything just happened so fast.. I remember feeling trapped in my hometown and needing a way out. And I remember telling myself that it's only for a year and I can always come back.

It took several airport layovers and connecting flights for me to finally reach my destination. I wish I could explain what I was feeling at the time but I can't. It was every emotion possible mixed into one. I knew that what I did was about to change my life forever. I just didn't know how. Stepping out of that airport and being surrounded by thousands of strangers instantly made reality set in. I had moved.

I knew that this journey was supposed to be for me more than anything else. I wanted to travel. I wanted to expand my knowledge within my career. And I wanted to get away from my hometown. I wanted something more. I cannot begin to express how thankful I am for having this opportunity. I've learned so much about life, relationships and myself in such a short amount of time. I read a quote today that really got me thinking about the past few months; where I was in life and how far I've come.

"And you are changed because of your move. You are mentally and emotionally stronger, as you learn to adapt and thrive in a brand new environment. You are more in-touch with yourself, because you quickly found out what was holding you back before versus what passions are pushing you forward now. You have become the most genuine and authentic version of yourself, because there are no other influences on your decisions besides those of your own accord."

I read this quote over and over again. It just made me feel a certain way. I couldn't exactly pin point it but then I realized that I had changed. And honestly, those are the greatest words anyone could tell me. I realized that I'm finally someone that I am proud of. I am finally someone I am comfortable with. I've gained confidence, knowledge and health. I've gained experiences, relationships and pure happiness. Then I realized that maybe I wasn't leaving behind everything I knew and cared about; but I was leaving behind what I thought I knew. I was leaving behind toxic situations that I should've walked away from all along. After all, what really matters, you never lose.. no matter how far. I realized that only once you are truly comfortable with yourself, will you allow yourself to let go and move on from everyone (and every situation) that gets in the way of your growth as a person. I realized that some friendships only hold you back; that letting people stay in your past is OK. It's ok to be selfish in life. It's actually necessary. I realized that the feeling I constantly felt about being trapped when I was back home was because there was so much more potential within me that I chose not to let out due to fear. But this move made me realize that at the end of the day, at the end of any life changing decision in your life, you're the only one going through it - make mistakes and look stupid and learn how to love yourself in doing so. Why was I keeping others happy and not myself? They didn't go through my life, I did. I realized that six months ago, getting on that flight, was the greatest gift I could have ever given myself. I needed to be entirely alone in a place so new and different in order to really learn who I am; to find myself.

I used to think it was a bad thing when friends or family used to tell me that I've changed; but now it makes me smile. There is no better feeling than finally being where you want to be in life and having others acknowledge it. I look back at the girl I was when I decided to move, the girl who said it would only be for a year, and I laugh at it. I'm glad this move changed me because at 23 I'm so much happier being the girl who knows what she wants and who she is, rather than the one that's lost, scared and never knowing what comes next.

I believe that sometimes you fall in love with a place only because it has shown you your full potential as a human being. While my first few weeks here were spent exploring and laying on the beaches. There was a side to this city that nobody knew about except for me. For me, it was therapeutic. Being surrounded by tall buildings and busy streets filled with unfamiliar faces - it helped me. Dubai showed me how strong I was. This city healed me. It taught me how to work harder, how to let things go that weren't good for me, how to love myself and most importantly how to accomplish things in six months instead of six years. There is nothing that makes my heart happier than knowing that this is my new home - for the long run.

Halifax, I'll miss you. You are now my temporary vacation spot.

"It will become a home even if it is thousands of miles away from your roots."

Outfit details:
Jacket - Bershka
Shirt - Bershka
Jeans - TopShop
Shoes - RiverIsland
Earrings/Ring- Swarovski

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